“I would seethe with hatred and ooze bitterness, as any human being with a spine would. I would also want justice and equality. I would be desperate to believe in the values that America is supposedly built on.”
It was the blindest of dates. Neither race, religion, nor species make much difference to me, but I will say, with absolutely no judgement…more as just additional information, that I am quite sure she was a Jewfish.
Wielding Nerf swords and brightly festooned Depends undergarments, this geriatric duel would determine which empire would remain pristine, and which would be utterly destroyed by having a new high school nearby.
“As a kid I caught a Water Moccasin in our garbage can, and tried to keep it as a pet in our bathtub.”
The archers with their canes. The infantry on their walkers. The heavy-artillery on their scooters. Ridley Scott, if you are reading this….
“Our poles bend in on each other, forming a shape which takes no imagination to see that a fiberglass heart has been superimposed on the now setting sun.”
“Out of the truck pops Kenny with the Crank of Dry Death in his hands.”
“Fecal flashbacks would haunt me for up to a week per episode.”
“Who knew that greenbacks could develop Stockholm Syndrome?”